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Uh, right, you've reached Scott. I can't pick up right now but you can go ahead and leave a message. Talk to you later.

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[ she left to get ready for bed. to undress and put on her pjays and do all the other things that she normally does before bed. and if she stalls for a moment in the bathroom, pulls her tank top up to see her stomach in the mirror, to trace over where the gashes had been just a few hours before with her fingers. trails over the seamless skin, no blemishes, not even a scar. allison's only standing in there for maybe thirty seconds, before she ends up shaking her head and rushing back out to her room, hoping scott didn't notice the pause.

when she opens the door she can only see his back, where he's laying on her bed facing the wall. she pauses again, there, to watch him. to feel that tightness in her chest at the realization of how much this has to be affecting scott. he was the one who noticed they were missing first, who had woken up to an empty room. he was the one who found her on isaac's claws and had gotten isaac to leave, who had tried to take away all her pain and had sit there when castiel had come to save her.

and who hadn't been more than a foot away from her since, except when they went to see stiles, when he had to go off and calm stiles down after he started having another panic attack. she doesn't even need to check to know how tense the muscles on his back must be, how much weight he's already carrying despite all those people being back only for, at most, a day. allison moves over to the bed and climbs in, her knee dipping the mattress behind his back just a little as her hand moves over his upper arm. tries to get him to turn towards her. ]

Hey. [ allison finishes crawling into bed next to him, pulls the comforter up to her waist and tries to guide scott into a semi-hug, pulling his head to that spot under her chin, against her chest.

physical contact was never hard with scott. even when they weren't dating, she felt herself drawn to him, pulled in his direction. now that they were somewhere else, somewhere with isaac and the two of them and everything allison wasn't sure she'd ever really be able to understand, the closeness with scott seemed like the only logical thing to do. ]

[ scott is the kind of guy who always goes into something with a plan, and a couple back ups. even if he doesn't think of one until he's there, he's always got something, someway that he can help. something up his sleeve. he's crafty, and most people don't know that about him- he's not always an idiot, and he's always striving to the great good of helping the most people and hurting the least. ]

[ now, though. now he has nothing. ]

[ had nothing. nothing to do when allison was curled up on the floor, blood pouring out from all different gashes and wounds that decorated the curve of her body. nothing to do when someone he didn't even know could do a better job at healing her than he could ever hope to. no one left, if allison had gone. isaac, stiles, allison. that's it, that's all he has. ]

[ forgive him if he doesn't feel very much like himself right now. ]

[ he stares at the wall and tries to forget about his own failures- about how allison should be furious with him, because he's said that everything he does is always to protect her, but what was he doing when isaac's claws found home beneath allison's flesh? what was ever more important than her well being? ]

[ stiles. only he wasn't more important- they're the same level of special, and scott hates that he had to choose when he didn't even know he had a choice- and it was allison or stiles, what was he supposed to do? what was he supposed to do? ]

Allison. [ he's happy to nestle himself against her, ducking his head first in between her breasts and then up the pale column of her throat, arms securing themselves soundly around her waist. he'd be crying if he didn't waste all his tears earlier in the hallway- but even then, his eyes grow misty and he holds her tighter. not uncomfortably, he's careful of that. ]

Are you okay? [ but his voice is soft, and it's clear that he's obviously the one that isn't okay here- that's fine. he doesn't mind. he knows that allison's strength can be compared to the size of galaxies, and she's so much stronger than he'll ever be, and he doesn't mind being weak. he just wants to hold and be held, and be content for the last few minutes of the day. ]

[ he kisses her throat sweetly before moving to nuzzle her collar, inhaling her scent. ]

[ the fact she's relieved he's at least turning to her says something. the fact she was worried he'd try to completely block her out, to be mad at her for going outside in the first place. the fact that she lets out a relieved sort of breath when he does turn to her, when he nestles into her chest and slides his arms around her, definitely says something. maybe it says more about her own projecting. about what she would have probably done, and what she was therefore the most scared of. allison doesn't know what she'd do if scott tried to block her out, how she'd react if he didn't turn towards her and wrap around her.

but she's glad he did.

it gives her the chance to settle up against him. to wrap her arms around his neck and to kiss the top of his head because she knows how much he's hurting. knows how much he's blaming himself. the question is mumbled, quiet, and briefly allison wonders if there's a chance she could just ignore it and let them move on but she knows it's not possible. not with scott. scott will stop the world from turning if he thinks someone he loves isn't okay - if there was an option to, at least. so instead she just smiles, threads her fingers through his hair a little bit before kiss his hair and laying her cheek against it. ]

Yeah, I'm okay. [ the kiss at her throat makes her smile again, laughing a little and shifting because of his it tickles. it's another moment or so later that she resettles, threading her fingers through his hair again. ] Are you?

[ they've always been in tune, and scott finds it easy to fall in step with her, pushing his head up into her hand to ask for more head scratches, loosening up his hold while he slots his leg between hers. he's not implying anything, of course, only the yearning he has to be closer to her at all times, to fall asleep with his arms locked closely around her, to protect her from all the bad in the world and leave them in their own little safe haven. ]

[ he'd do anything, anything, to keep her safe. he'd lay his life down in a heartbeat if it meant she'd survive whatever wonderland chooses to throw at her next. his hands are incapable of saving her, of protecting her, but he still- wants. he wants to be strong enough, one day, to say he can protect her with confidence. he's just not there yet, and so he clings, burrowing his head on her shoulder. ]

[ he debates the merit in saying i'm sorry, but he knows allison, and he knows she won't let him get away with that. so scott pipes down, pressing short kisses to her shoulder in a loving, gentle sort of way. like being too rough might make her shove him off and find someone else to seek comfort in. he doesn't want that. ]

I am if you are. I- yeah, I know you're probably sick of talking about it. I just want you to be okay.

[ and maybe it should be a little weird for her, knowing that she can be this comfortable and this in sink with someone's else's body. before she met scott mccall, she'd been mostly a short-term boyfriend kind of girl. the fact that she was usually in an out of schools every couple of months made it hard to have anything else. and technically, she'd only been dating scott for a couple of months - on paper, something that should have made this like every other boy she'd made out with. but that wasn't the truth, not in any way. scott leans his head a little this way, she moves her arm a little that, his leg moves between her's and she knows, without even thinking about it, that he doesn't mean anything. that he just wants to be close to her. that he just wants to know that he's got her in every way he can.

she can feel it in the way he presses into her neck, the way he loosens his hold on her without ever letting go. she knows there's so much he's still unsure of, and battling with, and trying to decide on if he should say it or if he shouldn't and maybe, just maybe, it's a little weird. the fact she can know all of this, and feel all of this, just in the way they're holding onto each other.

it makes her think of before, back when they were just allison and scott. where the worst part of their day was if they could find time to sneak way to be together. scott is still so focused on her that it's like everything else is gone. gone for good. and where part of her says that she doesn't want that much attention, the truth is? she does. she does when it's coming from scott. and being back here, back in that spotlight and back with his arms around her, makes her feel...honest. comfortable. ]

I'm okay. Really. [ and even if he's loosened his hold on her, she moves a little closer to him, slides the inside of her knee against his leg. she can feel the heat of him seeping off and into her skin, and she does her best to just keep scratching at his hair - his shorter hair - and keeping her eyes on her hands. not looking down at him. not looking at anything, really. ] It's not the first time something like that happened here.

[ scott's a relatively easy person to please, he thinks- give him a warm, beautiful lady and her fingers threading through his hair and he'll be content. and also make sure that it's allison, because there's no one else who can bring quite the same smile up onto his lips like the one he presses into the curvature of her neck now. they're speaking of death and loss, and yet he's happy, because for the first time today he can actually relax- allison is here and she's safe, and she's agreed to give him the night, and scott won't take that for granted. being with her is the only thing he has going right now, the only thing that makes him happy, and even with what happened earlier today- he's pleased. joyful, content, happy. ]

[ but she says something that needs to be addressed, so scott pulls away slightly, hovering on top of her with his knees supporting him- hands too afraid to leave her sides for even a minute. their foreheads nudge together for a second, before scott tugs up and presses a kiss to hers, lingering there after. ]

... I know.

[ and he kind of realizes how they're positioned- allison on the bed in scott's boxers and isaac's shirt, and scott hovering on top of her in a pair of sweat pants and one of isaac's shirts, too. it's strange. and it's- sexy, he guesses. it smells like the three of them all together, even if there's an isaac shaped hole in his heart and at allison's other side. he's not going to have sex with her, he doesn't think so, but it's still there. he's trying to be a gentleman when he kisses her cheek, presses their foreheads together again. ]

I wish it were different.

[ scott's mood is infectious. it always has been. they can be talking about death and darkness and everything else, and the moment she feels him smile against her neck she's doing the same. he doesn't even have to say anything, or really do anything other than that. just for that minute, that one movement, and she's washed over with an all encompassing feeling of warmth and happy and safe. all things she's always associated with scott, a few of which she had to fight for a while there, and now that she's not and she can just accept this and them and everything that comes with it, she's mirroring him. happy, content, joyful.

but then he's moving, and allison doesn't even notice until he's pulled away from her. the fact that he's hovering over her, with his hands still on her waist, his knees on either side and her hands still hanging around his neck, his forehead against her's and then it's the kiss. that soft, gentle, lingering kiss that is what does it. is what shoots her back and makes her feel so easy, so happy.

he's saying he knows, and she vaguely remembers that they're still talking about her death, but it doesn't seem like it. doesn't seem like when she meets his eyes, and hovers there for a few moments, it's because she's answering with: ] I know you did too.

[ it's not so much that allison has that distinct thought of look at you two and where is this going. it's hard for her to really think about much with scott this close to her. he always made her feel a little spontaneous, a little daring. it's that comfort and that feeling that if she wanted to jump, right now, he'd catch her.

but then he kisses her cheek, and he says he wishes it were different, and even though allison does end up frowning a little when she finds his eyes it's with no malice. no hard feelings. she moves her arms from around his neck to his face, cupping both sides of his uneven jaw and keeping his eyes on her's. ] I don't. [ she could go on to talk about how she cherishes every moment here, every decision she made and everything that every went bad. because it's brought her here, in isaac's shirt and the distant feeling of missing him despite everything that happened.

but instead of saying as much, she just gives him a tired smile, honest and open, before she pulls him down for a real kiss. her lips to his, for just a moment, and then right when it feels like she's going to pull away she pulls him closer, deepens the kiss while arching her back under him, just a bit. ]

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ic contact ;

action. ewaymas.

no kill me

nope. c:

:'c

<3

..... <3

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